Willie's first piece of advice, use chapter one to roll a joint (choo-choo go bye-bye)

"Last night in only his second Oval Office address, President Obama announced the end of Operation Iraqi Freedom. He said we have given the Iraqis a Western-style government. Well, we certainly have, haven't we? Their economy is in shambles, their Congress is corrupt, the country is broke, welcome aboard!" –Jay Leno

"At the White House yesterday, President Obama told Israelis and Palestinians to reach a peace deal because they might not get another chance soon. That's not really a peace plan. That's how you get a 5-year-old to use the bathroom." –Jimmy Fallon

USA Today reports that Willie Nelson has written an advice book. Willie's first piece of advice, use chapter one to roll a joint. --Conan O’Brien

The Bush administration announced the other day that it doesn't want the federal government to run Amtrak anymore. As it was explained to President Bush, choo-choo go bye-bye. --Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”