The New Jersey workers were just delighted to finally find a ring without the finger still attached (And by everybody I mean rich people)

This morning President Trump went on a Twitter tirade about his border wall and said that if he doesn’t receive funding for its construction in the upcoming budget, he will just instruct the military to build it. And if that doesn’t work, he’ll have no choice but to ask Santa. --James Corden

Maintenance workers in New Jersey recently returned a wedding ring to a woman who accidentally flushed it down the toilet--get this--nine years ago. This doesn’t happen every day. The New Jersey workers were just delighted to finally find a ring without the finger still attached. The ring was underground in the plumbing system for nine years. On the plus side, two sewer rats who had been in a long-term relationship were finally able to make it official. --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”