obviously you have a problem if you're in a bad mood at a strip club (it snapped him in half)

Kid Rock has been ordered to take anger management classes after punching a man at a strip club. The judge told Kid Rock that obviously you have a problem if you're in a bad mood at a strip club. --Conan O’Brien 6/21/2005

In Japan a 95 year old man broke the record in his age bracket for the 100 meter dash. Unfortunately when the 95 year old man tried to run through the tape at the finish line it snapped him in half. --Conan O’Brien 6/21/2005

A publishing company announced it's coming out with a new Bible for teenagers. You can tell the Bible's for teenagers because at one point Moses tell the Pharaoh, “We are so out of here.” --Conan O’Brien 12/10/2003

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”