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Sunday, June 4, 2017

he does have a machine that steals smiles from children (Brunhilda, the dominatrix)




"Pundits now say that Hillary vacillates, has different personalities. One day she will be one personality and the next day another personality. Have you noticed that as she shifts around the campaign? Guess what, today she is Brunhilda, the dominatrix." --David Letterman


"There you have it, a weird utterly subdued State of the Union, and according to Nancy Pelosi the theme of the address was things that taste like s--- [on screen: Pelosi moving her lips like there is a bad taste in her mouth]. Others, of course, had a more favorable impression. For instance, take a look at this right here [on screen: VP Cheney smiling]. He seems to have some kind of inverted scowl. Let me ask you, is the vice president sitting upside down? 

No. Yes, it appeared that Dick Cheney was enjoying himself. So, ladies and gentlemen, I must warn you that what I'm about to show you is unsettling and could cause great damage. I must ask that all pregnant women watching right now leave the room. I give you, now, Happy Cheney [on screen: a montage of Cheney smiling]. By my count, Dick Cheney smiled 12 times during that speech, meaning he only has four smiles left for the entire year. Although, worst case scenario, he does have a machine that steals smiles from children." --Jon Stewart






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