Florida is one of our most important allies (the last time we got drunk at a convention)

"And Florida finally starting to dry out from Tropical Storm Fay. President Bush declared some counties disaster areas so they could get federal assistance. Once again, see, I think Bush means well, I don't think he really understands. Like today, he said it was important to help them down there cause he considers Florida one of our most important allies. For when we fight the Georgians, we're gonna need the Floridians." --Jay Leno

"During the Democratic convention, this is true, delegates are being warned this year not to drink too much. They're being told not to drink too much, yeah. Yeah when asked why, Democratic officials said the last time we got drunk at a convention, we ended up nominating Walter Mondale." --Conan O'Brien



"The publisher of Simon and Schuster came out with a children's book about Barack Obama. Isn't that nice, yeah. That's sweet. They also came out with a children's book about John McCain called 'Horton Gets A Hearing Aid.'" --Conan O'Brien



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