However, things will warm up later in the afternoon, during the Rapture

Meteorologists are predicting that the weather for the inauguration tomorrow will be cold, damp, and dreary. However, things will warm up later in the afternoon, during the Rapture. –Conan O’Brien

President Obama surprised his White House staffers with a private concert by Bruce Springsteen to thank them for their work over the last eight years. Meanwhile, Trump thanked his supporters with a performance by a Bruce Springsteen cover band’s drummer’s DJ friend. –Seth Meyers

Donald Trump will be sworn in as president of the United States tomorrow. That’s right. Basically, we as a nation are going from the first season of “Lost” to the last season. As it turns out, we’re all in purgatory. That’s the best-case scenario. –Seth Meyers

North Korea is reportedly readying two intercontinental ballistic missiles to nuke Donald Trump’s inauguration. Listen, Tubby, you’re gonna have to do a lot better than that if you want to scare us this weekend. –Seth Meyers