"John
Edwards announced his
withdrawal from the presidential race in the same city that he announced his
candidacy, New Orleans. Interesting side note: in between those two visits to
New Orleans, the Bush government has promised to look into pricing some
dehumidifiers to help the city get rid of some of that mildew smell. It's a
nice gesture." --Jon Stewart
"Edwards'
departure leaves the Democratic nomination down to Hillary Clinton and Barack
Obama, which means that
the Founding Fathers finally have a winner in their 'How Long Will It Take Our
Nation To Nominate A Non-White Male' betting pool. Oh, I can't wait to find out
who is the winner. Ladies and gentlemen, George Mason of Virginia correctly
guessed 219 years. Congratulations, Georgey!" --Jon Stewart
"On
the Republican side, Rudolph
Giuliani has dropped
out. America's Mayor, John Q 9/11, it's over. For months, Giuliani was the
frontrunner for the Republican nomination, and then people started voting. He
finished in ninth place and 11th place." --Jon Stewart
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