Hail to the mother f------ chief! (SPLAT!)

"The Republicans have moved on from South Carolina to Florida where Mitt Romney yesterday was marching in a Martin Luther King Day parade, and made a valiant effort to reach across cultures and connect with African-Americans [on screen: Romney asking a group of black children 'Who let the dogs out, whoo whoo!']. This courageous attempt to communicate across cultures has many pundits asking the question 'Is Mitt Romney retarded?'" --Stephen Colbert

"We can talk all night about who won the debate, who lost the debate, but I will say one thing. One of the candidates last night was much funnier than the others [on screen: When asked if Bill Clinton was the U.S.' first black POTUS,  Obama saying, 'I would have to, you know, investigate more, you know, Bill's dancing abilities and, you know, some of this other stuff before I accurately judge whether he was in fact a brother. In a race where you have an African-American and a woman and John']. Obama ended, 'A white guy runs for president like this, my objective is to get to the oval office. While the brother is like, hail to the mother f------ chief." --Jon Stewart