President Obama
today awarded Vice President Joe Biden the Presidential Medal of Freedom With
Distinction, which is an honor only three other people have been given over the
last 30 years. Then Biden gave Obama his highest honor, double finger guns with
a wink. –Seth Meyers
The head of the
office of government ethics said yesterday that the only way for Donald Trump
to completely avoid conflicts of interest is to sell his assets and place them
in a blind trust. Trump was like, “Fine, I trust Ivanka.” –Seth Meyers
Children’s magazine
Highlights has announced that its next issue will include a picture of a
same-sex couple for the first time in its 70-year history. Making it the
easiest game of “what’s wrong with this picture” Mike Pence has ever played.
–Seth Meyers

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