Bob Dylan might have said, “Misses gravy’s on her ivory steed.” It’s impossible to tell

During a rally in Florida yesterday Donald Trump boasted about his plans for ISIS and said he will “be their worst nightmare.” Oh, wow, so he’s also running for president of ISIS? –Seth Meyers

President Obama has only 100 days left in office. Obama was like, “I just can’t wait to get home to Kenya.” –Seth Meyers

Bob Dylan was awarded the Nobel Prize for literature today. Dylan was like, “This is the greatest honor I’ve ever received.” Or he might have said, “Misses gravy’s on her ivory steed.” It’s impossible to tell. –Seth Meyers

A new business here in Washington, D.C., opened recently allowing customers to pay $15 to take a 20-minute nap. They’re calling the new service “C-SPAN.” –Seth Meyers