Tim Tebow scored 12 touchdowns (two months before Jesus was born)

It’s come out that Donald Trump has spent a large portion of his campaign donations buying copies of his own book, “The Art of the Deal.” Trump supporters are angry that he misused their money, and even angrier that he bought a book. –Conan O’Brien

A youth football team in Rhode Island was kicked out of its league after they snuck an adult man into their starting lineup. On the bright side, Tim Tebow scored 12 touchdowns. –Conan O’Brien

This is the biggest night for Major League Baseball in a very long time. Not your usual World Series. Tonight from Cleveland, game one between the Indians and the Cubs. Two perennial losers. Neither the Cubs nor Indians have won the World Series since two months before Jesus was born. –Jimmy Kimmel