I just put my hand over my heart (78.3 years)

"Newt Gingrich explained why he fooled around on his first two wives by saying he loved this country so much that it led him to cheating. He was so passionate about it he had to take his pants off. When I hear the National Anthem I just put my hand over my heart." –Jay Leno

"Life expectancy in the U.S. has risen to a new record of 78.2 years. The bad news is, the average age a person has to work before they can retire is now 78.3 years." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

 

Aw man, they’re gonna blame me for this, too! (his approval rating is the only thing inflation hasn’t touched)

June 2022

“According to a new poll, President Biden’s approval rating is at 40 percent. Meaning that his approval rating is the only thing inflation hasn’t touched.” —Seth Meyers

“The K-pop group BTS announced yesterday that they are going on an indefinite hiatus. Said President Biden, ‘Aw man, they’re gonna blame me for this, too!’” —Seth Meyers

“Another South Carolina incumbent, Representative Nancy Mace, who refused to join Trump loyalists in discrediting the 2020 election, survived a challenge from a Trump-backed candidate. Her opponent, Katie Arrington, conceded her race by apologizing to Trump: ‘Sir, I’m sorry I couldn’t give you the birthday present that I wanted to give to you, but you will always be my No 45, my No 46.’ I don’t know why anyone would think Trump supporters are a cult. It’s just a normal woman apologizing to Trump for losing her election on his birthday. It’s not a cult! This is a very normal thing. ‘Please forgive me, dear leader’ – normal, so normal.” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

What's the worst Hanukkah gift you could give someone? (the Enola Really Gay)

"The country of Iran announced this week they're going to publish the writings and speeches of the Iranian president. Which, of course, answers the question. 'What's the worst Hanukkah gift you could give someone?" --Jay Leno

"The Pentagon has confirmed rumors that it tried to develop a gay bomb -- a bomb that used chemicals to make enemy soldiers attracted to one another. A documentary about the gay bomb will be broadcast on both the History Channel and Bravo. Insiders say this will be the biggest gay bomb since 'Rent' was made into a movie. They even devoted a special plane to drop the bomb. It's the Enola Really Gay." --Jay Leno

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-

collected-poems-1985-2015.html