Remember, if your redwood lasts more than 2,000 years, call your lumberjack! (So, good news for Mrs. Heat Wave)

The National Parks Service is so desperate for cash that they just announced that, for the first time, they are going to solicit corporate sponsorship. Pretty soon, those sequoias could be brought to you by Viagra. Remember, if your redwood lasts more than 2,000 years, call your lumberjack! –Stephen Colbert

“Scientists warn heat waves will be longer, more intense and more frequent. So, good news for Mrs. Heat Wave.” — Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Remember, if your redwood lasts more than 2,000 years, call your lumberjack! (Or should I say the all-Frank beef?)

Apparently — this is being reported in the Washington Post — President Trump was showing off for his guests telling the Russians: “I get great Intel. I have people brief me on great Intel every day.” Well, yeah. You’re the president. It’s the job. It’s like the guy working the fry station saying, “You would not believe the tater tots I have access to.” –Stephen Colbert

The National Parks Service is so desperate for cash that they just announced that, for the first time, they are going to solicit corporate sponsorship. Pretty soon, those sequoias could be brought to you by Viagra. Remember, if your redwood lasts more than 2,000 years, call your lumberjack! –Stephen Colbert

The report doesn't specify the source of the human DNA in hot dogs. Is it hair? Is it fingernails? Did a lonely factory worker stay late one night and seduce a sausage casing machine? Could your pig in a blanket have a bun in the oven? This news completely changes America's love affair with the all-beef frank. Or should I say the all-Frank beef? –Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

if your redwood lasts more than 2,000 years, call your lumberjack! (At this point, who even remembers who owned who?)

"Today in Philadelphia, Barack Obama gave a major speech on race in America. I'm sorry, but I believe we solved racism in America when Rosa Parks drove that bus to Congress. Okay, have we forgotten so soon? Come on, it's been hundreds of years. At this point, who even remembers who owned who?" --Stephen Colbert

The National Parks Service is so desperate for cash that they just announced that, for the first time, they are going to solicit corporate sponsorship. Pretty soon, those sequoias could be brought to you by Viagra. Remember, if your redwood lasts more than 2,000 years, call your lumberjack! –Stephen Colbert

"We're still on the road to World War III. Things were looking a little grim last week – all those countries pressuring us to call for an immediate cease-fire, but we stayed strong. Sure, we sent over Condi Rice to negotiate, but she's not there for a cease-fire. No, she's there for 'sustainable cease-fire,' which considering the Middle East, is like sending her to bring back Jimmy Hoffa on a unicorn." --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

By Trump's standards he is over performing (not, as I had assumed, by a woman in a pantsuit)

The National Parks Service has approved an application for a white civil rights rally in Washington, D.C., this August. That should make for some interesting chants. "What do we want! Seriously, what do we want? I mean, we're doing pretty great, right? Seems like we shouldn't be having a march." --Seth Meyers

President Trump's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was destroyed today by a man with a pickaxe. And not, as I had assumed, by a woman in a pantsuit. --Seth Meyers

IKEA has announced plans to test out small-scale stores that could fit more easily into city environments. Just as soon as builders can figure out the instructions. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”