The greed of the 1% (It was so strong the country split open and candy spilled out)

So, police say a woman posed as a New York City high school student when she was actually 28 years old. Authorities almost missed it as most New York City high school students are 28 years old. But evidently teachers became suspicious when they didn't find her sexually attractive. —Greg Gutfeld

A powerful 5.7 magnitude earthquake struck Mexico. It was so strong the country split open and candy spilled out. —Greg Gutfeld

Actor Mark Hamill appeared in a Star Wars themed promo for Obama's presidential library. Makes sense. Neither Luke nor Barack knew their fathers. —Greg Gutfeld

Scientists have uncovered a 2,000-year-old computer. It was found with the skeleton of a man slapping it closed when a skeleton of his wife walked in. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Unfortunately though, he couldn't get anyone to cover his shift at Arby’s (So glad they caught her in time)

Star Wars actor Mark Hamill revealed he wanted to flee the US after Donald Trump was elected a second time. Unfortunately though, he couldn't get anyone to cover his shift at Arby’s. —Greg Gutfeld

A Danish woman donated her daughter's pony to the local zoo to be fed to lions. Authorities intervened when they realized it wasn't a pony at all, but a confused and very lost Sarah Jessica Parker. So glad they caught her in time. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Star Wars: The Worst Jedi (Come on, Donald, improvise)

You guys, today President Trump gave a big speech on National Security. He focused on the three biggest threats to our country -- Russia, North Korea, and Omarosa. –Jimmy Fallon

At one point he said, "We will never lose sight of our values and their capacity to inspire, uplift, and renew." Then he realized someone left an old Obama speech in the teleprompter. "That doesn't sound like me at all. What just happened? Wall. Come on, Donald, improvise." –Jimmy Fallon

     

A magisterial collection. An emotional rollercoaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984. http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulse #Indiana #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Also narrowly passing: Grandma (Also, if)

Congress narrowly passed Republican plan to replace Obamacare today. Also narrowly passing: Grandma. –Seth Meyers

A member of the conservative House Freedom Caucus said yesterday that it can be difficult to negotiate with President Trump because it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking. Also, if. –Seth Meyers

Today was National Star Wars Day and if you celebrated, no girlfriend you have. –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

It's a middle class tax cut (The Lying King)

For those of you who are observing, I’d like to wish you a happy Star Wars Day. Today is May the Fourth, as in “May the fourth be with you.” Can you imagine explaining Star Wars Day to someone who’s never seen the movie? “Yeah, it’s a holiday when we celebrate a movie about a brother and a sister who kiss.” -- Kristen Bell

House Republicans today voted on and passed an Obamacare replacement bill without knowing how much it could cost. Though I’m not surprised — they also voted on an Obama replacement without knowing the cost. –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

May the fifth margarita be in you (Star Wars Day)

Today was Star Wars Day, because the day was May Fourth, as in “May the fourth be with you.” And now, it’s technically May Fifth, Cinco de Mayo, as in “May the fifth margarita be in you.” –James Corden

Today isn’t only Cinco de Mayo, it’s also the one-year anniversary of this [Trump] tweet: “Happy #CincodeMayo. I love Hispanics!” You know, a year has gone by, but I’m just as embarrassed today as I was the day it was posted. –James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats