It hasn’t been this tense around my house since … well, you know… (He just got tired and ran out of terrible things to say)

 

There are reports that Bill Clinton encouraged Donald Trump to run for president. When asked about it, Bill Clinton said, “It hasn’t been this tense around my house since … well, you know…” –Conan O’Brien

Experts say one of the biggest threats facing Donald Trump’s presidency could be North Korea. Evidently, Kim Jong Un is so incompetent and unstable, they’re worried Trump will give him a Cabinet post. –Conan O’Brien

President-elect Trump tweeted that he would have won the popular vote if he had campaigned more in New York, Florida, and California. Trump explained, “I just got tired and ran out of terrible things to say.” –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Tiffany Haddish said someone bit Beyoncé (What does Beyoncé taste like?)

So, the president almost definitely colluded with Russia, but there's equally important news out there. Tiffany Haddish said someone bit Beyoncé. This is serious! --Stephen Colbert

This is a huge mystery at this point. As of show time we still don't know. So far, all sorts of celebrities have denied being the biter, including Lena Dunham, Jennifer Aniston, Sanaa Lathan, Frances McDormand, even Shirley MacLaine, whose spokesperson said, "No, Shirley did not bite anything. She's 83 years old, for God's sake." Not a good alibi. I get bit by 83-year-olds all the time. Because I like to start fights with old people, because I want to win. --Stephen Colbert

The fact is, Beyoncé's biter remains at large, and it's extremely important to me we figure this out, because America needs to know: What does Beyoncé taste like? --Stephen Colbert

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

NASA didn’t even start looking for new planets until after Donald Trump was elected president? (Me Too)

Astronomers have discovered a previously unknown planet only 11 light years from Earth that could possibly support human life. They call it Ross 128-b. Which sounds like a “Friends” spinoff where David Schwimmer is divorced from Rachel and forced to live alone in a sad apartment. –Jimmy Kimmel

But it’s not, it’s a planet. It might have water, which would make it possible to sustain life. As far as they know, Donald Trump is not president there. Do you know NASA didn’t even start looking for new planets until after Donald Trump was elected president? –Jimmy Kimmel

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Who could it be at this time? (Brad, Angelina, and Jennifer)

While hosting their final White House Halloween party yesterday, first lady Michelle Obama actually told the kids, “Hey! Candy for everybody!” Then Barack looked around and was like, “OK, who’s that in the Michelle Obama costume?” –Jimmy Fallon

The election is just one week from today. So I guess in one week, we’ll know if Donald Trump is our next president — or if Hillary Clinton rigged the election. –Jimmy Fallon

A memo from a veteran spy says that Vladimir Putin has been supporting Donald Trump for five years. After hearing this, Trump said, “Oh my God, I forgot it was our anniversary! What do you get for five years? I hope it’s not CHINA?” –Jimmy Fallon