So, the president almost definitely colluded with Russia, but there's equally important news out there. Tiffany Haddish said someone bit Beyoncé. This is serious! --Stephen Colbert
This is a huge mystery at this point. As of show time we still don't know. So far, all sorts of celebrities have denied being the biter, including Lena Dunham, Jennifer Aniston, Sanaa Lathan, Frances McDormand, even Shirley MacLaine, whose spokesperson said, "No, Shirley did not bite anything. She's 83 years old, for God's sake." Not a good alibi. I get bit by 83-year-olds all the time. Because I like to start fights with old people, because I want to win. --Stephen Colbert
The fact is, Beyoncé's biter remains at large, and it's extremely important to me we figure this out, because America needs to know: What does Beyoncé taste like? --Stephen Colbert
A magisterial collection.
An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s
Last Night On Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.
