So ladies: He’s single! (those ankles are totally airbrushed)

On Friday, a 112-year-old man was given the Guinness World Record for being the world's oldest living man. When asked how he achieved the record, the man said, “I jumped out and scared my older brother.” –Jimmy Fallon

Anthony Weiner’s wife, Huma Abedin, has decided to finally separate from him after his latest sexting scandal. So ladies: He’s single! –Jimmy Fallon

"Al Qaeda has launched its own women's magazine. I bought a copy, and I tell you right now, those ankles are totally airbrushed." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Police say they have nothing to go on (Well, I'm definitely not getting laid)

There was a horrible accident in Arkansas when a portable toilet fell off a truck on the highway. Police say they have nothing to go on. —Greg Gutfeld 

A 21-year-old man reclaimed a Guinness World Record by solving a Rubik's Cube in 11 seconds while blindfolded. When asked how he planned to celebrate, he said, "Well, I'm definitely not getting laid.” —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And because Trump got his tongue stuck on a flagpole (US invasion of)

The White House canceled all of Donald Trump's public events because of the snow. And because Trump got his tongue stuck on a flagpole. --Jimmy Fallon

On Friday, a 112-year-old man was given the Guinness World Record for being the world's oldest living man. When asked how he achieved the record, the man said, “I jumped out and scared my older brother.” –Jimmy Fallon

A former Playboy Playmate named Karen McDougal says she had an affair with Trump and now she's suing him. You know things are crazy when you hear the president is being sued by a porn star and people go, "Which one?" --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”