No one is going to stop you, there are no doors (nobody wants to give it CPR)

Housing prices are so high in the San Francisco Bay Area right now that a small one-story burned-out home is selling for — brace yourself — $800,000. It comes with two-and-a-half baths and two-and-a-half walls. The house is loaded with fun features like a fire pit out back, a fire pit in the kitchen, a fire pit in the living room, and all the bedrooms got fire pits. Why not save $800,000 and just move in now? No one is going to stop you, there are no doors. --James Corden

Scientists have just added a new animal to the endangered species list. It's a green-haired Australian turtle that breathes through its genitals. It breathes through its genitals. The reason it's endangered is because in an emergency, nobody wants to give it CPR. --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

Apparently, the first thing they taught her was CPR (Ladies and gentlemen...)

"Well, the Wall Street Journal said today Democrats are sending an army of lawyers and investigators up to Alaska to look into the background of Sarah Palin. And of course, John McCain is furious. He said, 'Hey, if I didn't look into her background, there's no reason you should be looking into her background.'" --Jay Leno

"Sarah Palin's been spending the last couple of days being briefed by advisers on what she needs to know to be John McCain's vice president. That's true. Yeah. Apparently, the first thing they taught her was CPR." --Conan O'Brien



"This is true. In Alaska, a political activist is trying to get Sarah Palin to release over 1,000 e-mails that she's withholding from public records. She won't release them. Yeah. Apparently, several of the e-mails went unanswered and have the subject line 'Mom, I need to talk to you about birth control.'" --Conan O'Brien



http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535

he didn't want to have to be in a position to have to get CPR from Mitt Romney

"Actually, it was kind of a smart choice. McCain went with a woman because he didn't want to have to be in a position to have to get CPR from Mitt Romney." –Jay Leno

"Palin and McCain are a good pair. She's pro-life and he's clinging to life." –Jay Leno

"President Bush called Gov. Palin and congratulated her. Bush told Palin the job of vice president is very important because as vice president, you get to tell the president what to do." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535

Apparently, the first thing they taught her was CPR (birth control)

"Sarah Palin's been spending the last couple of days being briefed by advisers on what she needs to know to be John McCain's vice president. That's true. Yeah. Apparently, the first thing they taught her was CPR." --Conan O'Brien



"This is true. In Alaska, a political activist is trying to get Sarah Palin to release over 1,000 e-mails that she's withholding from public records. She won't release them. Yeah. Apparently, several of the e-mails went unanswered and have the subject line 'Mom, I need to talk to you about birth control.'" --Conan O'Brien



"Look, I tell you though, McCain is thrilled with his running mate! He's energized by this woman. In fact, he told the press today, Sarah Palin makes him feel as young as Larry King." --Jay Leno



http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

And then Melania Trump was like, “Yeah, I can.” (lizards)

An Australian family managed to save the life of a lizard they found at the bottom of their pool by performing CPR on it. Can you imagine putting your lips on a lizard? And then Melania Trump was like, “Yeah, I can.” –James Corden

I consider myself a confident guy. But I have never ever, not even after six drinks, thought to myself, “I could probably give CPR to a lizard.” That family revived the lizard by performing CPR for 30 minutes. I give up looking for the TV remote after 25 seconds. –James Corden

In a recent Reuters interview, President Trump reflected on his first 100 days in office saying, “I thought it would be easier.” What made you think it was going to be easy? This is what it did to a SMART person [shows 2008 and 2018 photos of Obama]. By the time you’re out of office, you’re going to look like the Toxic Avenger. –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats