We removed your appendix without stabbing any of the nearby nurses (21 lobbyists)

August 2022

“Nancy Pelosi arrived in Taiwan safely, as the Chinese government reiterated that US politicians who ‘play with fire’ on Taiwanese independence will ‘come to no good end’. That threat started out very scary and ended up being very vague. We’ll have more on this story if humanity continues to exist.” —Stephen Colbert

“A US drone strike in Kabul killed the al-Qaida leader Ayman al-Zawahiri. We haven’t had a win like this since we got Bin Laden 11 years ago. So play some LMFAO on my slightly different iPhone and throw Girl With the Dragon Tattoo on the Blu-ray, because I’m partying like it’s 2011! Hashtag winning, Beyoncé’s pregnant, I hope I get to host the Late Show one day. In a press conference from Washington, Biden assured that the mission to kill Zawahiri was ‘carefully planned to rigorously minimize the harm to other civilians. None of his family members were hurt, and there were no civilian casualties.’ OK, that’s cool, but shouldn’t that be the goal of all military operations? That’s like a doctor saying ‘the surgery was a total success, Mr Johnson. We removed your appendix without stabbing any of the nearby nurses.’” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The point of the assassination, was that America never forgets...unless it's slavery (razor blade missiles)

August 2022

“Twenty years after 9/11, the US military has killed the al-Qaida leader Ayman al-Zawahiri by drone as he stood on his balcony at a safe house in Kabul. Goddamn, America clipped the world’s most wanted terrorist off of his safe house balcony? I mean also, at this point, maybe we should stop calling them safe houses. Every terrorist gets killed in a safe house. They should call it ‘a house that you think you’re safe in, but you never know.’” —Trevor Noah

“What’s crazy is that America didn’t just kill him. They killed him with a razor blade missile, which I didn’t even know was a thing. The Hellfire missile is a non-explosive, unmanned weapon which deploys razorblades in flight. The weapons America has sound like things kids just make up on the playground. [imitating a child]: ‘I’m shooting you with a laser-guided missile with razor blades and a shark’s body.’ Meanwhile the CIA is up in a tree being like ‘with a shark’s body, you get that, boys? We gotta go make one of those.’” —Trevor Noah

“When you see stories like this, when you see stories about what America’s capable of, this is where you realize there’s really no excuse for the amount of domestic terrorism in America. Zawahiri, Osama bin Laden’s deputy and successor, lived in a safe house in Kabul and yet America knew what time of day he liked to go out on to his balcony. But when a white supremacist posts on Facebook that he’s gonna murder everyone, and then buys an AR-15, everyone is like ‘Oh, there was no way to stop this!’ The point of the assassination, was that America never forgets … unless it’s slavery. But everything else, America never forgets.” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Top Ten Signs Al Qaeda Is Running Out of Money (Reducing afterlife payment to 71 virgins)

David Letterman's "Top Ten Signs Al Qaeda Is Running Out of Money"

10. Switching from name-brand to generic plastic explosive
9. Jerry Lewis is hosting Al Jazeera's first ever jihad-a-thon
8. Ayman Al-Zawahiri closed latest videotaped message with, "And now a word from Valvoline"
7. New catchphrase: "Death to Bill Collectors"
6. Shoe-bombers encouraged to shop at Payless
5. No more free soda in the 11th floor refrigerator
4. Reducing afterlife payment to 71 virgins
3. Training camps rented out on weekends for bar mitzvahs
2. Canceled ambitious plan to put a Mullah on the moon
1. Bet entire budget on the Miami Heat

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”