We removed your appendix without stabbing any of the nearby nurses (21 lobbyists)

August 2022

“Nancy Pelosi arrived in Taiwan safely, as the Chinese government reiterated that US politicians who ‘play with fire’ on Taiwanese independence will ‘come to no good end’. That threat started out very scary and ended up being very vague. We’ll have more on this story if humanity continues to exist.” —Stephen Colbert

“A US drone strike in Kabul killed the al-Qaida leader Ayman al-Zawahiri. We haven’t had a win like this since we got Bin Laden 11 years ago. So play some LMFAO on my slightly different iPhone and throw Girl With the Dragon Tattoo on the Blu-ray, because I’m partying like it’s 2011! Hashtag winning, Beyoncé’s pregnant, I hope I get to host the Late Show one day. In a press conference from Washington, Biden assured that the mission to kill Zawahiri was ‘carefully planned to rigorously minimize the harm to other civilians. None of his family members were hurt, and there were no civilian casualties.’ OK, that’s cool, but shouldn’t that be the goal of all military operations? That’s like a doctor saying ‘the surgery was a total success, Mr Johnson. We removed your appendix without stabbing any of the nearby nurses.’” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The point of the assassination, was that America never forgets...unless it's slavery (razor blade missiles)

August 2022

“Twenty years after 9/11, the US military has killed the al-Qaida leader Ayman al-Zawahiri by drone as he stood on his balcony at a safe house in Kabul. Goddamn, America clipped the world’s most wanted terrorist off of his safe house balcony? I mean also, at this point, maybe we should stop calling them safe houses. Every terrorist gets killed in a safe house. They should call it ‘a house that you think you’re safe in, but you never know.’” —Trevor Noah

“What’s crazy is that America didn’t just kill him. They killed him with a razor blade missile, which I didn’t even know was a thing. The Hellfire missile is a non-explosive, unmanned weapon which deploys razorblades in flight. The weapons America has sound like things kids just make up on the playground. [imitating a child]: ‘I’m shooting you with a laser-guided missile with razor blades and a shark’s body.’ Meanwhile the CIA is up in a tree being like ‘with a shark’s body, you get that, boys? We gotta go make one of those.’” —Trevor Noah

“When you see stories like this, when you see stories about what America’s capable of, this is where you realize there’s really no excuse for the amount of domestic terrorism in America. Zawahiri, Osama bin Laden’s deputy and successor, lived in a safe house in Kabul and yet America knew what time of day he liked to go out on to his balcony. But when a white supremacist posts on Facebook that he’s gonna murder everyone, and then buys an AR-15, everyone is like ‘Oh, there was no way to stop this!’ The point of the assassination, was that America never forgets … unless it’s slavery. But everything else, America never forgets.” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

this time, we promise it’s meat (Tali-buddies)

August 2021

“American troops withdrew from Kabul after 20 years in Afghanistan. In a matter of days, the Taliban wrested control over most of the country, including all the expensive stuff we left there. In their cake-walk to power, the Taliban seized American military supplies such as guns, ammunition, helicopters and combat aircraft. Normally to get that many American weapons, you have to go to Walmart.” —Stephen Colbert

“The Taliban is attempting to rebrand itself. They’re saying they were the Taliban, but now they’re the Tali-buddies. The new Taliban have promised no reprisal killings, which is not really comforting when you have to guarantee that. It reminds me of the Taco Bell ad for the Gordita Crunch Wrap – ‘this time, we promise it’s meat.’” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Most Americans watched in horror, while some Americans watched for tips (See you after the play!)

August 2021

“The Taliban yesterday entered the city of Kabul and took control of Afghanistan’s presidential palace. Most Americans watched in horror, while some Americans watched for tips.” —Seth Meyers

“I have a hard time believing Donald Trump would have done it in a more orderly way, since nothing he ever did was orderly. He couldn’t even withdraw from an umbrella in an orderly fashion.” —Seth Meyers

“You can tell things aren’t good for Biden, because today he said, ‘You know, maybe the election was stolen.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“It’s hard to argue that the White House didn’t shank the withdrawal. The rapid fall of Afghanistan’s western-backed democratic government and chaos in Kabul – chaos at Hamid Karzai airport caused the deaths of at least seven people – swiftly disproved the Biden administration’s calculations of a smooth withdrawal. Biden said that a Taliban takeover of Afghanistan was ‘not inevitable’ and ‘highly unlikely.’ That is the most inaccurate prediction from a president since Abe Lincoln said ‘see you after the play!’” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”