How would you be able to tell? (apparently he had AT&T)

July 2011

"Democrats warned that if the debt ceiling isn't raised, the government would cease to function. How would you be able to tell?"  –Jay Leno

"You know what the scary part is? Not that the government will cease to function, that they think this is actually the government functioning. They think it is working well." –Jay Leno

"The government is warning that terrorists may try to blow up airplanes by implanting bombs under their skin. The airlines responded by saying they'll charge any terrorists that do this a $50 carry-on fee." –Jay Leno

"According to the New York Times, a cell phone found in Osama bin Laden's compound had phone numbers belonging to Pakistan's intelligence agencies. But authorities say it’s unlikely they ever spoke because apparently bin Laden had AT&T." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I've decided it's time for me to covfefe (Bo-Dunk-a-Dunk)

Dan Scavino, the guy who helps write Trump's tweets, is considering leaving the White House. After thinking long and hard he said, "I've decided it's time for me to covfefe." --Jimmy Fallon

Since a judge approved AT&T's merger with Time Warner, experts say it could open up the door for other big companies to merge. We took a look at some companies we'd like to see merge, just because of what they could rename themselves. I'll show you what I mean. For example, if Saks Fifth Avenue and Citigroup merged, they'd be "Saks and the Citi." If Myspace and eBay merged, they'd be "my bae." If Chili's and Netflix merged, they'd be "Netflix and Chili's." And finally, if Bonobos and Dunkin' Donuts merged, they'd be "Bo-Dunk-a-Dunk." --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

What a delightful, fun, and interactive way to find out you're being evicted from your apartment (a stamp that smells like a real bald eagle)

The U.S. Postal Service announced on Monday that it will soon issue its first scratch-and-sniff stamps. Finally, a stamp that smells like a real bald eagle. --James Corden

The stamps will come in scents like strawberry, orange, and chocolate. What a delightful, fun, and interactive way to find out you're being evicted from your apartment. --James Corden

This week AT&T announced that later this year they will start selling a smartphone that will feature a holographic display that projects 3D images that can be seen from the sides and from behind. And even more exciting, you still won't get reception in your kitchen. --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

To thank them, Cohen will be using AT&T for his one phone call (the treadmill section of an L.A. Fitness)

President Trump tweeted today that a date and place have been set for his meeting with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. And for their safety, they decided to have the meeting in a place where you wouldn’t expect to find either of them — in the treadmill section of an L.A. Fitness. --Seth Meyers

According to The New York Times, the shell company that President Trump’s lawyer, Michael Cohen, used to pay Stormy Daniels received payments from AT&T. To thank them, Cohen will be using AT&T for his one phone call. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

“OK, now do silly one when you hold up nuclear codes.” (Covered)

The big story still is Trump firing FBI Director James Comey, and it turns out Comey had six years left on his 10-year term. It’s easier get out of your FBI contract than it is your AT&T contract. –Jimmy Fallon

In the middle of all this, Trump met with the Russian foreign minister yesterday and the White House says Russia tricked them by posting photos of the meeting. They got suspicious when the photographer told Trump, “OK, now do silly one when you hold up nuclear codes.” –Jimmy Fallon

The next season of “Scandal” will be its last. ABC is ending “Scandal.” Fortunately, the Trump White House picked it up for four more seasons. –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

A Tomahawk cruise missile fell off a truck in the Bronx (doesn't make him gay)

"You know Ann Coulter? She was on CNBC today and she said 'Bill Clinton is gay.' Please, just because she's the only woman on the planet he wouldn't have sex with doesn't make him gay." --Jay Leno

"A Tomahawk cruise missile fell off a truck in the Bronx this week. A cruise missile, isn't that unbelievable? You know what that means? There are now more weapons of mass destruction in the Bronx than there are in Iraq." --Jay Leno

"AT&T said in the second quarter their profits increased by 81%. So apparently, the government is paying them to listen to our phone calls." --Jay Leno