Your honor, my client pleads: mine, mine, mine, mine, mine (or, as it’s known at his house, the Melania)

November 2022

“We are taping this show before Trump’s official announcement for 2024 at Mar-a-Lago, so the FBI could still burst in and seize his teleprompter. But everyone is expecting him to announce his third presidential bid. Yes, it’s the third time – or, as it’s known at his house, the Melania.” —Stephen Colbert

“I want everybody to breathe, as Trump might not even be the GOP nominee! It could be Ron DeSantis. Especially as Trump’s team tries to dig him out from under a pile of lawsuits. A filing in a suit against Twitter argued that ‘crackpot ideas sometimes turn out to be true’ to advance more baseless claims about Hunter Biden and election fraud. Well said! All great discoveries start as conspiracy theories. Thomas Edison only invented the lightbulb so he could finally see that Sasquatch sneaking up on him.” —Stephen Colbert

“A separate legal filing claimed that the president gets to decide whether White House papers are ‘personal documents’ and that Trump ‘had decided that all the records he took to Mar-a-Lago were in fact his personal property’. That is the legal argument of a toddler. ‘Your honor, my client pleads: mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, I want a balloon, I want a balloon, mine.’” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”