Even Jesus is like, ‘Don’t tell him to turn to me! I want no part in any of this.’ (And every single time it turns out they lied)

November 2022

“Donald Trump announced his 2024 presidential bid on Tuesday evening, surrounded by dozens of his closest friends and thousands of classified documents at Mar-a-Lago.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“One person not invited to the Mar-a-Lago announcement was Trump’s former right handjob – I mean man Mike Pence, whose memoir debuted on Tuesday. The former vice-president sat for an interview with ABC News and was asked if Trump ever apologized for his role in the riot which threatened Pence’s life, to which Pence said: ‘Not in so many words, but in sentiment he did.’ So the answer is no, he did not. He didn’t.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Pence added that he urged Trump, in the days after January 6th, to ‘turn to Jesus right now, believing in my heart he could find the same comfort I was finding.’ Can you imagine telling Donald Trump he should turn to Jesus? Even Jesus is like, ‘Don’t tell him to turn to me! I want no part in any of this.’” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Pence’s book, So Help Me God, makes a great stocking stuffer. You can hang it on the mantle, just like Mike Pence almost was.” —Jimmy Kimmel