Thanks for making me look like the president of the century (When you come straight to work from the cocaine orgy)

"Did you hear about this? In Afghanistan, the U.S. has discovered large deposits of iron, copper, cobalt, gold, and lithium. Or, as most people would call it, 'not Osama bin Laden.'" –Jimmy Fallon

Today is President Trump's 72nd birthday. Everyone in the White House hid to jump out and yell "Surprise," and while they were hiding they were like, "Hey, we found Melania!" At one point the staff brought out a piñata for Trump but the president just deported it. --Jimmy Fallon

Next Trump birthday card is from Sean Spicer. It says, “Today, I’m toasting to you.” And inside it says, “Because you’re the reason I drink every day.” And finally, here’s one from George W. Bush. It says, “Here’s to you.” And inside it says, “For making me look like the president of the century.” –Jimmy Fallon

"Mitt Romney visited a restaurant in Iowa, and had trouble thinking of the word for donut. Newt Gingrich merely responded, 'That never would have happened if I were the nominee.'" –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”