They say their first clue was when they were shot at by penguins (I dare her to put on a leather mask and say that)

"Scientists have discovered that Texas and Antarctica were once linked. They say their first clue was when they were shot at by penguins." –Conan O'Brien 

"A new study shows that Americans with Type 2 diabetes can completely reverse the disease by eating healthy foods. In other words, no cure for Type 2 diabetes." –Conan O'Brien

Pope Francis is calling for an audit of all the Catholic Church’s wealth. In a related story, Pope Francis is missing. –Conan O’Brien

"Senator Hillary Clinton said she is in favor of building a wall between Mexico and the United States. After hearing this, former President Bill Clinton said, 'She means a metaphorical wall of silence and resentment. Trust me.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright called North Korea's leader Kim Jung Il a pervert. In response, Kim Jung Il said 'I dare her to put on a leather mask and say that to my ass.'" --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”