July 2020
“Later on, Trump had everyone sign a Hallmark sympathy card for Ghislaine Maxwell that said, ‘Sorry for your sex-trafficking arrest.’” —Jimmy Fallon
“So, OK, if you’re keeping score at home, if you’re accused of spray-painting a statue of a Confederate soldier, you’re human scum who should be billy-clubbed in the trachea, but if you’re accused of recruiting middle schoolers to be sexually assaulted by millionaires, you get a greeting card.” —Stephen Colbert
“Right after he wished Ghislaine Maxwell well, Trump’s staff was like, ‘Oh yeah, this is why we stopped doing these.’” —Jimmy Fallon
“OK, so just to recap: Colin Kaepernick, son of a [expletive]; accused child sex trafficker, ‘I wish her well.’” —Trevor Noah
“This is the one time when nobody would have been upset if Trump had used one of his trademark insults. ‘Low I.Q. individual,’ ‘horse face,’ ‘hater and loser,’ ‘psycho,’ ‘lock her up’ — anything. Instead, this is the time that Trump chooses to suddenly become a feminist? [as Trump] ‘She broke the glass ceiling of sex trafficking — you’ve got to respect that.’” —Trevor Noah
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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