whatever necrosis is making Rudy Giuliani decompose/zombie apocalypse/it won’t be because I’m Irish

“John Bolton’s book won’t be officially released until March 17, which, of course, is St. Patrick’s Day. So this year, when I’m drunk and throwing up, it won’t be because I’m Irish.” —Stephen Colbert

The Center for Disease Control has been monitoring over 100 people in the US for coronavirus, and maintains the threat is minimal. The good news is, the CDC is working hard to contain and study the coronavirus, The bad news is that same CDC has lost a dangerous amount of its funding. In recent years, the CDC has scaled back work in dozens of countries based on budget cuts; it cut efforts to prevent outbreaks in foreign countries by 80% in 2018. Despite the obvious benefits too funding an agency that prevents a zombie apocalypse, the Trump administration’s budget proposal actually recommended another 10% cut to the CDC’s funding. How does a notorious germaphobe cut the budget of an agency that fights infectious diseases? Just tell Trump the CDC needs the money to keep him from catching whatever necrosis is making Rudy Giuliani decompose. —Samantha Bee

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”