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Friday, January 31, 2020

What is it that makes Donald Trump so innocent and handsome? (Does this look infected to you?)


“It can be anything they want, as long as they write it down. For instance, Senator Capito asked, ‘When did Ukraine learn that the aid was frozen?’ Senator Peters asked, ‘Does impeachment require a criminal violation?’ And Ted Cruz asked, ‘Does this look infected to you?’” —Trevor Noah

“The whole process makes no sense. If the senators have a question, why not let them ask the question? Or if chief justice is going to have to read it out, then he should at least have to do an impression of the senator who asked the question. Then it makes it fun.” —Trevor Noah

“For most of the day, senators just asked questions to their own side that gave them another chance to repeat their talking points. Democrats asked, ‘Donald Trump is guilty, isn’t he?’ And Republicans asked, ‘What is it that makes Donald Trump so innocent and handsome?’” —Trevor Noah

“It got awkward when Roberts was like, ‘O.K., next question: Why is John Roberts such a wang? Oh come on, guys, grow up!’” —Jimmy Fallon

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

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