"General Electric announced it made a profit of $14 billion last year and paid zero in U.S. taxes. How does this make Wesley Snipes feel? Had he just been making light bulbs instead of movies he wouldn’t be in prison now." –Jay Leno
"According to the latest reports, medical marijuana sales in this country are now approaching $2 billion a year. I had no idea that so many people had glaucoma. Apparently this is an epidemic." –Jay Leno
"Prosecutors announced yesterday that Karl Rove will not be charged with any crimes. The White House was pretty relieved. President Bush told Dick Cheney, 'You can cancel that hunting trip with Karl Rove.'" --Jay Leno
"Republican frontrunner Rudy Giuliani says he's going to try to follow Ronald Reagan's 11th commandment that a Republican should never attack another Republican. Let's hope Rudy has better luck with the 11th commandment than he did with the 7th commandment." --Jay Leno
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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