“You shouldn’t feel bad about not seeing it, because last night’s Democratic debate was the least-watched Democratic debate yet. Yes, yeah, true story. The ratio was one viewer for every one candidate.” --Conan O’Brien
“Andrew Yang supporters are angry that their candidate didn’t get to talk very much last night. Yeah. And Joe Biden’s supporters are angry that theirs did.” --Conan O’Brien
“Wow, in a two-hour debate, Andrew Yang only got to speak for six minutes and 53 seconds. That’s nothing. Like, there are rappers who speak more before their song even starts.” --Trevor Noah
“Meanwhile, Joe Biden had some pretty big blunders on issues of race and domestic violence — I don’t know if you saw this. Or as Biden’s campaign is calling it, ‘a pretty average night.’” --Jimmy Fallon
“Yeah, Biden also caught heat for saying that he ‘came out of the black community.’ When she heard that, Rachel Dolezal was like, ‘Well, he has my vote.’” --Jimmy Fallon
“Well, that’s the thing about Joe Biden: He’s not afraid to say the wrong thing.” --Jimmy Kimmel
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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