"The White House says we'll be staying in Libya longer than expected. I didn't see that coming." –David Letterman
"The original estimate for Libya was two weeks. Now they're predicting about 12 years." –David Letterman
David Letterman's "Top Ten President Obama Campaign Promises For 2012"
10. Be more of a warlock, less of a troll
9. Keep unemployment below 75 percent
8. Fight three wars and the fourth one is free
7. Replace space shuttle with this (video of Don Rickles firing a rocket)
6. Get fat like the rest of America
5. Send troops to quell feud between Meat Loaf and Gary Busey
4. Fortune cookies actually tell fortunes, no more of this lucky numbers crap
3. Less talk, more rock
2. Pardon Lindsay Lohan
1. Go back to being that cool, smoking badass we all fell in love with
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”