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Wednesday, November 27, 2019

He just finished a crossword puzzle. Please send help! (Agenda for a New Progressive America)


“Was it a health emergency or did he need to get a marble removed from his nose again? We don’t know.” --Trevor Noah
“Now, because no one trusts this White House, everyone is wildly speculating about what actually happened. Did Trump have a heart problem or a stroke? And if he did have a stroke, how would you even be able to tell? Yeah. No, because the symptoms of a stroke are slurred speech, confusion and erratic behavior. For Trump, that’s a Tuesday!” --Trevor Noah
“In fact, if Trump ever starts speaking normally, that’s when Melania should call 911. It’d be like, ‘Hello, ambulance? Something is wrong with my husband — he just finished a crossword puzzle. Please send help!’” --Trevor Noah

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

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