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Saturday, November 30, 2019

the worst audition for a school play I’ve ever seen (you should clear your schedule)


On Gordon Sondland’s testimony. “It’s relaxing to watch someone who knows they’re a piece of shit.” --Samantha Bee
Bee played footage of Sondland being incensed that the day was going on longer than expected. “Unless you have afternoon plans to testify at a different impeachment hearing, you should clear your schedule.” --Samantha Bee
“Gordon Sondland is such a delightful dirtbag idiot that it’s easy to lose sight of what he actually did today. He is a firsthand witness to this conspiracy and he confirmed that the president, the vice-president, the chief of staff and the secretary of state all knew about it.” --Samantha Bee
“Gordon Sondland said Trump was in a bad mood during the Ukraine phone call. Trump’s never in a good mood! He’s either screaming at reporters on the White House lawn or glaring directly into the camera like a burglar caught on a doorbell camera.” --Seth Meyers
“Sondland also called Trump’s lawn rant the worst audition for a school play I’ve ever seen.” --Seth Meyers
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”



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