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Saturday, November 30, 2019

but it is a great reminder that you’re a total douche (two of his least favorite things)


“Lt. Colonel Vindman began his time with a message to his father, who fled the Soviet Union 40 years ago, that he shouldn’t worry about his son speaking the truth in America. The statement was beautiful, but you know it’s really going to enrage Trump because it features two of his least favorite things: immigrants and fathers who love their sons.” --Stephen Colbert

“Throughout the testimony, Vindman expressed faith in American government to protect truth-tellers. Yeah, in America, ‘right’, matters. You know, unless you’re one of the congressmen on the right, then not so much these days.” --Stephen Colbert

“There were several Republican efforts to undercut Vindman, such as the Utah congressman Chris Stewart’s attempt to throw shade at his military uniform. ‘I see you’re wearing your dress uniform, knowing that’s not the uniform of the day,’ Stewart said. ‘You normally wear a suit to the White House. I think it’s a great reminder of your military service.’ Congressman, I see you’re wearing your little bitch face.. It’s not the face the of the day, but it is a great reminder that you’re a total douche.” --Stephen Colbert

“Then there was the Ohio congressman Jim Jordan, who tried to say Vindman’s superiors doubted his judgment; Vindman refuted the characterization by reading, verbatim, a sterling performance review from July. The review basically said ‘He uses excellent judgment, he plans ahead, he brings documents that rebut Jim Jordan’s weak-ass smack talk even before it leaves his dirty little mouth.’” --Stephen Colbert

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

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