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Saturday, November 30, 2019

Hello, is anyone out there? Are you receiving this message? (he’s gonna be in prison by Tuesday)


Well, you know what, the thing is, the human voice really reverberates from inside a tanning bed.” --Jimmy Kimmel

“Trump is a man who holds press conferences in front of a running helicopter, so I think you can hear him over a phone receiver. And if his best defense against impeachment is ‘I’m not loud,’ he’s gonna be in prison by Tuesday.” --Jimmy Kimmel
“Maybe because you’ve been watching phone calls. Try listening to them. [Imitating Trump] ‘No matter how wide I open my eyes, I couldn’t hear a thing. I might need glasses.’” --Stephen Colbert
“That’s just how old people talk into phones. They think every phone is like a ham radio during World War II: ‘Hello, is anyone out there? Are you receiving this message?’” --Seth Meyers

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

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