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Wednesday, November 6, 2019

Are you all willing to do that? (like white parents discipline their kids)


“Seriously, there’s like so many steps before you can actually punish an American president. Congress impeaches presidents like white parents discipline their kids: ‘Young man, if you don’t listen, I’m going to tell you again. And then if you don’t, I’m going to talk to your father and then we’re going to talk with our therapist.’” --Trevor Noah
“The House voted today to formalize the impeachment process, which means — I don’t know what it means. It means it’ll go to the Senate. Republicans in the Senate will do nothing about it, and Trump will say he won is probably what it means.” --Jimmy Kimmel
“Quick follow up: The Titanic just hit an iceberg. The captain is saying ‘It was a perfect iceberg; now we can all make Slurpees for everyone,’ and he’s asking you to handcuff yourself to the port-side rail and swallow the keys. Are you all willing to do that?” --Stephen Colbert

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”


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