the vacuum cleaner has started seeing other people (I can't use my old passport. It's for a black guy)

U.S. soldiers in Iraq say that one of the things that's keeping them going and inspiring them is all the letters they're receiving from school children around the country. I thought that was really nice, then someone explained that those letters are actually from President Bush. --Conan O’Brien 4/20/2003

This week a man was sent to the hospital after losing part of his penis while having sex with a vacuum cleaner. And if that weren't bad enough, the vacuum cleaner has started seeing other people. --Conan O’Brien 12/14/2001

It was reported today that the DA's office in Los Angeles has lost Michael Jackson's passport. After hearing about it Michael was furious and said, “I can't use my old passport. It's for a black guy.” --Conan O’Brien 6/23/2005

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”