He was so drunk he couldn't even remember the Alamo (It was their final, most essential command)

It's been reported that Donald Trump's Atlantic City casinos are in such bad shape they could go bankrupt. Now you can tell something's wrong because Trump has changed his trademark slogan from “You're fired” to “Can you loan me five bucks.” --Conan O’Brien 3/31/2004

Jason Patric the star of the new movie the Alamo was arrested for public drunkenness. Apparently Patric was so drunk he couldn't even remember the Alamo. --Conan O’Brien 3/31/2004

The mayor of St. Louis announced he's starting a campaign to get St. Louis off the list of America's fattest cities. Apparently the people of St. Louis realized they had a problem when someone got stuck walking through the arch. --Conan O’Brien 4/1/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”