After hearing about it President Bush said, “Show off.” (more barrel and less cracker)

On the campaign trail New Mexico Senator John Kerry spent the day reading children's books to a group of kindergarteners. After hearing about it President Bush said, “Show off.” --Conan O’Brien 5/4/2004

Earlier this week Bill Gates agreed to pay an eight hundred thousand dollar fine for violating the rules of a stock purchase. On the on the bright side in the time it took the judge to say the words eight hundred thousand dollars Gates made four million dollars. --Conan O’Brien 5/4/2004

The Cracker Barrel restaurant chain settled a discrimination suit against African-Americans. Afterwards a spokesperson for the restaurant said from now on we'll try to be more barrel and less cracker. --Conan O’Brien 5/4/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”