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Friday, February 19, 2016

based on his energy level, I would have guessed heroin



In a historic move, the Pope also suggested that it might be acceptable to use contraception in order to prevent the spread of the Zika virus. That's not surprising to me because once you start debating with Donald Trump, birth control starts to seem like a pretty good idea. –James Corden
In South Carolina, things are looking up for Ted Cruz. Ted Cruz for the first time is ahead of Donald Trump in a national poll. Of course Trump is suing the poll. –Jimmy Kimmel
Ben Carson said during last night’s town hall that he shoots pool to relax. Oh, he shoots pool? Because based on his energy level, I would have guessed heroin. –Seth Meyers


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