a machine gun made out of Bibles

A woman in Oregon has opened a business selling homemade weed pipes with Bernie's campaign logo on them. Weed pipes are the perfect gift for Bernie supporters. It's like getting a nice bottle of wine for a Hillary supporter, or getting somebody who wants to vote for Ted Cruz a machine gun made out of Bibles. –James Corden

Donald Trump has a powerful new enemy and his name is Mitt Romney. You remember Mitt Romney, the JCPenney mannequin who came to life and ran for president four years ago? He's back. –Jimmy Kimmel

Mitt Romney said there will be a bombshell in Donald Trump's tax returns once they are released, and added that he's either not as rich as he says he is or he didn't give money to the veterans or disabled people like he's been saying he does. How is that a bombshell? Of course he's not as rich as he says he is. He's not as anything as he says he is. –Jimmy Kimmel