I hope they can get used to doing nothing

"Right now, available only in San Francisco, is an app where you can get marijuana delivered right to your door. Whoever pairs this with a pizza delivery app probably will get the Nobel Prize." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Congress is about to head off on their August recess, which seems appropriate. Adults go on vacation, children go on recess." –Jimmy Kimmel



"Today marks the last day before Congress takes its summer recess. They're taking five weeks off. Five weeks. I hope they can get used to doing nothing." –Seth Meyers