"Officials from Hamas and Israel have agreed to a 72-hour
cease-fire. Of course, we won't have true peace in the Middle East until
there's a cease-fire that lasts longer than a mattress sale." –Seth Meyers
"Toronto Mayor Rob Ford said that he is still sober and
he'll never be caught doing anything illegal ever again. Then he said, 'Unless
someone's taping me. Then I'll get caught probably.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Rob Ford also said that he is committed to living a
healthier life, and his days of going to the liquor store are over. Which would
be great, if he weren't addicted to crack." –Jimmy Fallon
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