"Well if you're just waking up, the election is over and
we have a president, George W. Bush. This is nice, for everyone who wondered
what it would be like if Dan Quayle was president, well, here you go."
—David Letterman
"Dick Cheney has been on TV everywhere. He's doing press
conferences, he's setting up the transition team back in Washington...What's
Bush doing? Bush is relaxing on the ranch. Which guy had the heart
attack?" —Jay Leno
"Earlier this afternoon, George W. Bush resigned as the
governor of Texas. This is historic. It's the first job he's left without going
bankrupt. It was a nice ceremony. The state of Texas said while he's president,
they'll let him stop by every once in a while and execute someone." —Jay
Leno
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