"In Louisiana, President Bush met with over 15,000
National Guard troops. Here's the weird part, nobody remembers seeing him
there." —Craig Kilborn
"President Bush announced we're going to Mars, which
means he's given up on Earth." —Jon Stewart
"President Bush said today he would like America to
establish a permanent base on the moon. This is all part of his plan to get
Americans used to an environment where the air is un-breathable and there are
no trees." —Jay Leno
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