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Thursday, July 24, 2014

That's like leaving the house without pants...



"Today is the 30th anniversary of the National Minimum Drinking Age Act, which raised the drinking age to 21. Also turning 30 today: a 16-year-old boy, according to his fake ID." –Seth Meyers



"A federal judge ruled yesterday that California's version of the death penalty is unconstitutional. Apparently the difference is California's version has avocado on it." –Seth Meyers



"Even though both Israel and Hamas fired on one another during the five-hour humanitarian period yesterday, the U.N. secretary general said both sides 'mostly respected' the cease-fire. That's like leaving the house without pants and saying you're 'mostly dressed.'" –Seth Meyers


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