"The
Republican National Convention is going to be held in 2016 in Cleveland. They
outbid New York City. Cleveland beat New York City. And I'm thinking to myself:
Wait a minute, this is not right. Hookers and bribes don't work anymore? What
is the problem?" –David Letterman
"According
to a new study, the largest producer of oil is now the United States. So you
know what that means – any day now we'll be invading ourselves." –David
Letterman
"On this
date in 1804, Aaron Burr had a duel with Vice President Alexander Hamilton.
Aaron Burr killed Alexander Hamilton and got off scot-free. Later he was
convicted for stealing sports memorabilia." –David Letterman
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