Our current golden age of cooperation and productiveness is over

"Oh no! Congress's current golden age of cooperation and productiveness is over." –Jon Stewart on pundit predictions that the defeat of House Majority Leader Eric Cantor will make it impossible for Republicans to cooperate with Democrats

"For the second day in a row, President Obama made an unscheduled trip out of the White House, this time for a burger at a nearby restaurant. Obama wants to be OUT of the White House more than Hillary wants to be IN it. Well, almost." –Jimmy Fallon

"A Tea Party candidate won Virginia's Republican primary, mostly on his anti-immigration stance. His first plan is to change the state's slogan from 'Virginia is for lovers' to 'Virginia is for lovers who habla ingles.'" –Conan O'Brien