"Women serving in the United States military will now be
serving in combat. Finally there will be somebody in the tank who will stop and
ask for directions." –David Letterman
"A new poll found 78% of respondents believed the planet
had warmed over the past 100 years. The other 22% burst into flames."
–Stephen Colbert
"The Dow hit 14,000. It hasn't been that high since 2007,
heading toward an all-time high. Just think of how big it would be if Obama wasn't such a
socialist." –Bill Maher
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