"Reportedly, President Obama's
speech will focus on jobs. Hopefully he'll explain to us why anybody in Congress
still has one." –Jay Leno
"Some self-portraits painted by
former President George W. Bush have leaked onto the Internet. Bush said, 'If
you like these, wait until you see my self-portraits of other people.'"
–Conan O'Brien
"The Navy SEAL responsible for
killing Osama bin Laden says he's having trouble finding work. My advice:
Charge $10 per high five. He will be a billionaire by the weekend." –Conan
O'Brien
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